JAMES W. PREECE
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Fight for your marriage

4/9/2022

 
During the 94th Academy Awards celebration was tarnished when Will Smith slapped Christ Rock across the face for making a joke about Jada Picket Smith's lack of hair.  Smith's actions was followed by a warning to Rock to keep his wife's name out of his mouth, which was laden with language many wouldn't equate with elegance and grace.  Everyone has seen the video and has been keeping up with the news of Smith's consequences for his actions.  Celebrities' are both both for and against Smith's actions.  Smith resign from the Academy of Sciences and Arts.  The new action taken against Smith is being prohibited to attend the Academy Awards Celebration for the next ten year.  

​In light of all this many videos have resurfaced of Jada humiliating Will on numerous occasions.  Most notably during Jada's show, "The Red Table," where Jada lets everything out about her life of infidelity and how she just wanted to have fun and that the young man, a friend of her son, as she was looking to feel good because she claims that it had been so long since she felt good.  Don't be misconstrued, Will isn't merely sitting there taking all of this in, he is confronting her to open up about what happen and why it happen.  He is holding her accountable to some degree.  During this interaction Jada is laughing and does not recognize her actions as a transgression.  As she was claiming she was helping to "heal" someone what she was actually doing was seeking self gratification.  Will is seen laughing too but I believe his reaction to her revelation is out of hurt. 

In light of all that has been revealed, I have a very serious question for all my married friends out there. At what length would you go to save your marriage?  How much value to you place on your marriage, on the other person you said you are going to commit the rest of your life with regardless of what happens in the unforeseen future.  

If you have the mind set that "if they want to go let them go, no skin off my back," then I have to question your commitment and love for your spouse. That is an attitude that you don’t value your marriage and you have no respect for your spouse.  Maybe this is the reason your spouse is considering separation and no longer wishing to continue down the road with you.  They fail to see your devotion and commitment to the marriage, then why should they continue.  This is not healthy in either situation.  

Marriage is about commitment, respect, trust, faithfulness, and support. All of this comes under the umbrella of love, for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health till death do you part.  I have heard people say that a marriage takes 50/50 from the couple.  There is absolutely no truth in that statement.  Both much come into the relationship with a 100/100 attitude.  Now will there be days where one or the other or both isn't able to give 100% but may give only 75%?  Sure.  Life goes on outside the marriage which in turn goes back into the marriage.  People have to face outside stressors like work, traffic, other people we don't know but run into at Walmart, our neighbors and community, and the list can go on. Those interaction can and will affect our attitude which then runs into our marriage.   

If it is easy for you to turn your back on the person who is questioning your marriage and is thinking about leaving then you’re not committed either. Your marriage has no value to you.  Your excuse maybe, "They are not the person I marriage."  Well guess what, you're no longer the person they marriage.  We change as time go on, we grow and develop to the world around us, inside and outside our marriage.  If you believe the person you said "I do" to will remain that same person for the next three, five, ten, or more years than you have set yourself up for failure.  You're naïve to think that they are perfect or this awesome person you feel in love with.  In addition, if you think you will remain the person you are today three, five, ten or more years from know then you are not wanting to grow yourself.  Marriage is about growing together, examining yourself and seeking to be 1% better today than you were yesterday. 

So I must ask, to what length are you willing to fight for your marriage? How valuable is your marriage to you?  What resources are you getting ahold of that will influence and motivate you to do what you should do to save your marriage?  How much time do you examine yourself to see what areas in your life do you need to work on for the betterment of your marriage?  What are you willing to change about yourself?  That's right, examine and change yourself because you cannot change your spouse.  Examining them first before you remove the beam from your eye will only cause more problems.    

So what they screw up from time to time. So what they make mistakes. So what they said something you didn’t like. Are you willing to speak to them about those things? Is communication important to you? Are you willing to examine yourself to see where you could be falling short? Are you willing to forgive yourself as well as your spouse and reconcile the relationship?

For my Christian friends, are you willing to let God work in you as much as you want Him to work in your spouse?  Has God been missing in your life?  Men, are you being the Spiritual Leader you are called to be?  Ladies, are you honoring your husband as God commanding you to do?  Are these two ideas offensive to you?  Take this very important piece of advice, your marriage is not about you, it is about your spouse.  Men, your marriage is not about you, what you get out of it, what she does for you.  Your marriage is about her.  Ladies, your marriage is not about you.  Your marriage is not about what he does for you, how much he gives you, or what you get out of your marriage.  Your marriage is about him.  The idea here is you serve one another.  You're not servants as in the since as being a slave.  You serve one another for the best interest for them growing as a person in all areas of their life.  We get this example from Jesus when he washed the feet of his disciples and through his death.  He gave of himself so that we could have life.  We should give of ourselves to our spouse for the best interest of their life.  What you are doing is you are sowing seeds that you will feed from.  As you bless your spouse they in turn bless you.  

Don’t take your marriage for granted. If you believe you love your spouse fight for your marriage.  Do not allow your emotions lead you on a path that you may end up regretting.  If you give all you have and they still want to leave, do as Paul said, let them go (1 Corinthians 7:15)

is it prideful to have knowledge and share?

4/3/2022

 
​“I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”  2 Timothy 4: 1-5
 
Social media is a wonderful place to share our lives with our friends and family.  It is also a place to share your views and ideas with people you don’t know.  One of the wonderful aspects of sharing on social media is being able to share my faith with others.  Whether that be with fellow Christians or non-believers people have some level of interest or intrigue about God, the Bible, and religion in general. 

Now when we share our faith there comes a level of conflict and division.  Of course non-believers will question me in circles attempting to cause me to slip up in my comments, wanting me to contradict myself and question me if I actually believe in what I believe in.  What I find to be most problematic is the conflict among Christians.  What is very clear is there is a great amount of tradition and presupposition that comes with what people believe.  This is largely due, in my opinion, to biblical illiteracy coupled with failing to practice actual Spiritual Discipline and knowing how to do an actual Bible Study.  First off, reading your Bible is not Bible Study.  Second, reading your daily devotion or those curriculums called Bible Study is not an actual Bible Study.  They can contribute to learning and study but a real Bible Study starts off first by removing our context, our world view, from the text and discovering the world view of the biblical authors.  Next, if I approach the Bible to do a Study with my traditions and presuppositions leading the way then I should just forget going to the Bible. I’m not willing to learn, to get out of my comfort zone and to transform my way of thinking about God and His word.  My theology is not the standard by which I should study the Bible. 

So when I interact with others on social media what is evident is people want to be right… about everything all the time.  I was once like this.  Now what I find myself doing is encouraging people to look outside the box of their traditions, their theology, and their comfort zone.  However, that is not how people take my comments.  There are two reasons for this, one is obvious, people want to be right about the topic presented.  Second, voice! Yes, they hear people’s comments the way they want to hear things.  I connect this with daddy issues.  If they had a rough, over commanding father who is always correcting and chastising them then when they hear correction they hear their father’s voice.  Let’s face it no one wants to be corrected but they sure do want to correct everyone that doesn’t agree with them.  That is why when teaching we must be patient. 

When I am faced with dealing with non-believers I am reminded to not throw my pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6).  Yet, when dealing with believers I am faced to believe I am dealing with a baby with a power tool.  They know just enough Greek to be dangerous.  No matter the amount of patient and compassion I present, people have a difficult time seeing comments as compassionate.  They want to give correction but not receive correction and that can make growing in our knowledge more difficult.  Our comfort zone can and will prohibit growth.  A real bear to the bones Bible Study will make a person uncomfortable and if it does that is something important to confront and deal with.  The problem isn’t God’s word, it’s our attitude.  And when someone who had invested the time to study, and it is apparent they have, our attitude to not wanting to be corrected can inflate the division rather than develop unity. 

Possessing the knowledge and sharing that knowledge isn’t being prideful.  Not willing to receive the knowledge given is prideful.  We are too proud to believe we need correction or encouragement or direction in the truth of God’s word.  Scripture encourages us to seek knowledge and wisdom but we must be careful on how we present that knowledge to others.  Some people are still on the milk and are not ready for deeper meatier things and they are not willing to face that truth about themselves. 
I still have much to learn and I have learned so much more after the fact of my Seminary years.  The journey has been wonderful discovering things about God’s word.  I am careful with where I get my lessons from but I am willing to venture into areas most Christians will question why I go there.  Such things I will examine is material from atheist, communist, evolutionist, and agnostics.  Reading their material does not mean I agree with them but I have armed myself with their knowledge and God’s wisdom to confront those ideologies and handle them.  

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